Following the nearly single-digit voter turnout in the Feds executive election, outgoing Feds executives have branched out on their Feds On Tour outreach program to include a performance by their rock band. </p>
Featuring VP Operations and Finance Carly McCready on vocals, VP Education Stephane Hamade on bass guitar, VP Internal Maaz Yasin on the double neck guitar, and President Chris Lolas on drums and the triangle, the rock band “FedS” (also known as FEDS) took to the Hagey Hall stage to announce a proposed Feds fee hike at the general meeting.
The rock show, comprised of two sets separated by a VIP cupcake decorating session, drew mixed results from students.
The crowd favourite was a mid-tempo, hard rock version of “When The Drills Start Drilling,” clearly inspired by the raw sound of Guns N’ Roses. McCready crooned the chorus as Lolas eased up on the drums and switched to the triangle. The chorus lines “Or whatever / or whatever” were beautifully delivered.
Surprising everyone, Yasin switched out his signature comedy routine from the Jus Reign show with a double necked guitar. Unlike McCready’s cantillating “whatever” vocals, Yasin struck a cord with visiting Laurier students.
“I hear this dude is the bro of the guy on our student union, so I thought I’d check it out,” said business administration student Steve Gates. “I didn’t really like the melody, but I jammed out to that guitar line.”
Hamade provided a cleanly-executed, hypnotizing bass line. “I’m just really glad I got it all right,” Hamade said after his performance. “It was almost as sanitized as my Twitter.”
Free food was provided during the cupcake decorating session.
“I just came for the pizza,” said an unidentified math student.
However, some students were disappointed by the rock show.
“I thought this was a Drake concert, TBH,” said engineering student Janice Doe. “Like all I saw were 1-800-hotline Feds Drake posters. What the hell is this?”
The student response wasn’t all negative.
“I don’t know fam, I was kinda waiting on Maaz to drop some sick beats,” John Smith, a 4B economics student, said of his overall impression. “Though trust me bro, Chris Lolas is gon be sick on dem triangles next year.”
In response to student feedback, Feds has announced that the FedS band will transform into a gangster rap formation for the incoming executive team. Their first single is rumoured to be “Straight outta the SLC (cuz we lost Fed Hall).”
It is unclear what will happen to the instruments Feds purchased for this show.
