We’re surrounded by images and depiction of sex all the time, in every form of media possible. When I first came to university I realized just how intense the social and peer pressure was to lose my virginity.
But honestly, waiting is always better. Waiting means holding out for someone who is worth it and for someone who will ensure that sex isn’t the only reason they stay.
It didn’t bother me that I was not sexually active in first year even though I was in a relationship, but I did get comments along the lines of “How can you torture him like that?” My reaction was to tell people to mind their own business, closely followed by defending my right to make my own decisions, and saying that if sex is the only reason someone would be with me, I wanted no part of it.
And while I could logically think this through, many people succumb to peer pressures about many things, including sex.
So, I want you (all of you, not just the girls) to remember that — it is your body, your life, and your decision. If you decide to wait until your wedding night there is nothing wrong with that, but don’t make that decision just to please someone else or to keep up with the “cool” kids. And if you are sexually active, there is also nothing wrong with that because you get to decide what you want to do with your body in your life.
Being in a relationship where you can practise safe and consensual sex is also a key part of all of this. Consent is the voluntary agreement to participate in a given sexual activity. Saying yes to one thing does not mean that you have to say yes to everything. And if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe you should tell your partner right away. Practicing safe sex ensures the safety of both you and you partner(s). Make sure you do your research on how to protect yourself and know the resources available to you.
We are bombarded everyday to make this decision as quickly as possible for everyone around us except ourselves; don’t lose sight of what you want in the midst of all the mixed messages, especially when deciding how to deal with such a big decision.
Rameesha Qazi
5B, Honours English Literature
