Abhiraj Lamba: the man, the myth, the legend

BY: Nicola Rose, Supposedly a friend

It’s no secret that the Managing Editor of Imprint, Abhiraj Lamba is in love with himself. However, the extent of his self-obsession is not always immediately clear. To help the UW community better understand just how deep this man’s delusions run, we at Imprint recorded his best quotes in the months leading up to this edition. (And, dear readers, to ensure you this is not bullying, Lamba reviewed and [reluctantly] approved every quote in this piece — and even doubled down on many as he edited the article.) 

Here are the highlights: 

1. If I believed in God, it would be me (Jan. 20, 2023)
2. I’m a little drunk right now, but even if I wasn’t, I would tell you all how much I love myself (Feb. 11, 2023)
3. I’m going to look so hot in my black leather jacket, black t-shirt, and black jeans (Feb. 13, 2023)
4. I’m not pretentious… Okay, I’m kind of pretentious. I’m definitely kind of pretentious (Feb. 17, 2023)
5. My best quality is probably my intelligence, then my attractiveness, then my sweetness… (Feb. 17, 2023)
6. I have this problem with [singing along to] a lot of songs: wherever it says “you,” I end up saying “I” (Feb. 17, 2023)
7. I pick and choose what I hear (Feb. 17, 2023)
8. I’m having major FOMO, so you’re going to have to repeat that entire conversation (Feb. 17, 2023)
9. I don’t care where I am at midnight [for my birthday] as long as it’s with you guys [the Imprint team] (Feb. 17, 2023)
10. [To the Imprint team] None of you have performance charisma (Feb. 17, 2023)
11. That’s so sad… I don’t care (Feb. 18, 2023)
12. I’m almost [as much] in love with [Taylor Swift] as I am in love with myself when I look in the mirror every morning (Feb. 19, 2023)
13. I am pretty obnoxious, I’ll admit that (Feb. 19, 2023)
14. I’m mentally 11 years old (Feb. 19, 2023)
15. I’m very smart, so I end up talking about smart things (Feb. 19, 2023)
16. Obviously Waterloo has a lot of losers (Feb. 19, 2023)
17. I’m, like, the perfect specimen of what a human should be (Feb. 19, 2023)
18. I do have the advantage of having been born hot (Feb. 19, 2023)
19. You can’t tell people I’m nice to you (March 1, 2023)
20. I’m self-centred because I’m amazing (March 1, 2023)
21. My whole personality is being petty on Instagram (March 1, 2023)
22. [Incredulous] Do you think I’m an adult? The way I behave? (March 6, 2023) 
23. I’m the love of my life (March 13, 2023)
24. No one can teach me anything; I don’t learn (March 13, 2023)
25. I would be a great dictator (March 13, 2023)
26. I would never lie (March 19, 2023)
27. Everyday I realize the real world isn’t Twitter and I get sad (March 20, 2023)
28. I’m not unlikeable, I’m obnoxious (March 29, 2023)
29. I don’t seem like an attention whore (March 29, 2023)
30. Brunch is like my entire personality (March 31, 2023)
31. I’m like the most amazing f***ing dude on the planet (March 31, 2021)
32. I don’t like to say good things about myself (Feb. 1, 2023)